Three
by LLFOREVER
Summary: Saving lives is supposed to be a game, and it is until that life is one of their own. And then they realize that they have no idea how to save a life.
1. Prologue

Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: Just wait…  
Disclaimer: If I owned _Grey's Anatomy_, I would not be writing this. You know that.  
A/N: This is going to be a fun ride. It's kind of future AU… Read. Love. Review.

* * *

Prologue

The rain falls softly, as it always does. It doesn't really rain that much, but it's cloudy an average of 226 days a year compared to 132 in New York… not that Addison Montgomery keeps track. Despite the increased number of cloudy days, Seattle feels like home. After bombs, adultery, divorce, marriage, and children, Seattle feels like home.

Addison gently twirls the straw of her Coke between her fingers as she sits at a table, waiting for her dinner partner to show up. She's written off alcohol – for now anyway. She smiles, thinking of her unborn twins. After one, she had thought that she and her husband would be done. With their busy lives, it seemed like they would make an excellent family of three, four if they counted Ella, the family dog. And then, unexpectedly, the stick had turned blue once again.

"Hey." Addison glances up and smiles wistfully. The years haven't hurt Mark Sloan's rugged charm. He's not the man that she fell in love with years ago, but she's also not the woman who fell in love with him. Nevertheless, they remember. Every day on this year, they remember together.

"Mark." Mark sits down and adjusts his watch. He stares at the drink in front of him with a grateful expression in his eyes, and he takes a slow swig, letting the bitter taste slide down his throat. Sometimes he wonders how he got to where he is now, wonders if it would have made a difference if he had gone into neurosurgery or something other than plastics.

"Why didn't it work with Derek?" Addison sighs and fingers her simple yet elegant rings that grace her left ring finger. She's asked herself that same question and answered it for Meredith on the eve of her current marriage.

"Derek… Derek didn't know how to be there for me. We were too young, and we jumped into marriage too fast. By the time he figured it out, it was too late. He had found Meredith, and I had found you. I wanted someone who would be there for me when I wanted him there and when I didn't. Derek wasn't ready, and neither was I." Mark nods, almost imperceptibly. The answer suffices. Momentarily he looks out at the rain and frowns.

"Four years, and I'm still not used to all the rain. You had a checkup yesterday, didn't you?" Addison nods, so he continues. "Do you want to know what they are?"

"Mark, I'm in obstetrics. I'm not blind. But… yeah, we'd want to know anyway. Allie's really excited about this. I just hope it stays that way in six months." Addison smiles fondly, thinking of her three-year-old daughter. "This morning, she told me she wanted to be a doctor like Mommy and Daddy so she could take care of babies."

And then he gets it. After all these years, he truly gets it. What Callie said to him four years ago made sense, but until now, he never really believed that he wouldn't have been cut out for the job. Kids can be cute, sure, but Addison's eyes shine with pride that he never would have had.

"I would have been a terrible father," Mark whispers. "Go to home to your husband, Addie. I'm okay now."  
--  
Movies always seem to foreshadow tragic events with rain and dark nights. The rain isn't particularly heavy, and it only accounts for a small percentage of accidents, but the nine percent has to come from somewhere.  
--  
Out of nowhere, horns blare and headlights collide. Tires spin out and then metal crunches. Suddenly the lives of four people hang in a delicate balance.

And it all happens in three seconds.  
--  
Addison closes her eyes in pain. She tries to stay conscious by counting to one hundred.

She only makes it to three.  
--  
A/N: Okay. I'm not thrilled about this chapter but… I promise it will get better. I have a lot in mind, and I was trying to get it into place for everything to work out. Now… you know the drill. Thanks for pushing the button!


	2. When the Stars Go Blue

Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: To be revealed in… oh… several words.  
Disclaimer: Yo no tengo _Grey's Anatomy_. Estoy llorando pero… voy a escribir más ahora.  
A/N: Thanks for the awesome reviews for the prologue! They made me think you guys will like where this is going… you know the drill – Read. Love. Review.

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Chapter 1 – When the Stars Go Blue

_It's often said that major decisions should not be made in times of crises. We make our decisions based on emotional involvement. As doctors, we try to minimize that influence on our treatment options and advice when speaking with patients. _

Meredith Grey pulls her lab coat closer to her body as she runs out into the rain to meet the incoming gurney. She looks up at the paramedics and nods, waiting for them to give her the bullet.

And that's when she sees the patient.

"Addison Montgomery, involved in a two-car accident. BP 80/56, heart rate 64. She's cyanotic, appears to have no major external injuries, but may have internal bleeding. She was unconscious when we got to the scene and hasn't come to yet," one of the paramedics rattles off.

_For the most part, we don't have to make the personal decisions. We make treatment decisions based on the best interest of the patient and his or her family's wishes._

Meredith forces herself to not vomit as she races along side the gurney. She knows how to fix a subdural hematoma, how to perform a corpus callosotomy, how to assist on a hemispherectomy, but nothing has prepared her to take care of her husband's ex-wife, her best friend's wife, her best friend. The books forgot that part.

"Okay, um… oh God. Okay on my count… one, two, three!" Meredith reels back as she tries to focus. She has done this hundreds of times before. A young intern that Meredith has only seen glimpses of runs into the room and glances at Meredith.

"Doctor Bailey said you might need someone down here. What can I do?"

Meredith closes her eyes briefly and forces herself to think. The naïve feeling that plagued her early years comes rushing back.

_But sometimes we're faced with a challenge. We have to make the major decisions because there's simply no one else there to make them – even in a time of crisis._

"Get a head and spiral CT, a dose of heparin IVC, chem. 20, CBC, start her on clindamycin, push two of epi, now! Page Preston Burke, and tell him that we'll meet him upstairs," Meredith shouts.

"Grey! What do you think you're doing? You're off this case." Meredith doesn't have to turn to know that Bailey is now hurrying toward the elevator with her. She may not be Bailey's intern anymore, but the fear and submission still comes flooding back at the sound of Bailey's voice. "Why are you looking at me like that? You are personally involved. Don't give me that look; go call her husband!"

Meredith nods, unable to speak. She backs up until she hits something solid.

And then she crashes to the ground as the tears begin to fall.  
--  
Alex Karev leans over and kisses his little girl on the forehead. Allie's thick auburn curls fall across her face as he does so, and he gently brushes them back. Every day, he wonders how he got this lucky. He still remembers the first time that sex was more than sex for him, remembers the day that he filled a hotel room at the Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego and got down on one knee only to realize that the ring was in his suitcase, remembers the day that he and his _wife_ stared at the white stick together – but most of all, he remembers the day that Allie was born.

"_Alex! I was caught up downstairs. Where is she?" Alex turns and grins at Meredith as she looks in at the newborns. He gestures at the baby with a full head of dark hair. "Alex, she's gorgeous. She has the perfect mix of her parents' genes."_

"_Are you kidding? Nah, she's all her mom. You gonna pop one out soon, Grey?" Alex smirks. He's still Alex, after all. He has a reputation to live up to… although he thinks that fell apart the day he went back to gynie. Not that he cares anymore, because he doesn't._

"_That's Shepherd to you," she retorts, playfully punching him on the shoulder. "And… I think we just want to be married for awhile. Soak it all in."_

"_You liar. You just want to be able to have loud sex. I talk to Stevens and O'Malley. They tell me these things." Meredith turns red and shakes her head indignantly, and Alex laughs, knowing that he's hit the button on this one._

"_I'm… I'm afraid I'll be a bad mom. I don't want my kids to have the same kind of life I did growing up. What if I mess them up?"_

"_You won't. You'll be afraid that you will be the worst parent in the world. You'll want to run away and hide in a corner. But you get through it, the waiting, and then you realize that you just have to do the best you can, and everything will be okay."_

"_You speak like an experienced parent. You're already making an amazing parent. What's her name?"_

"_Allison Michelle." For a moment, Alex and Meredith just watch the babies, and Meredith gives Alex a hug._

"_You're a lucky guy, Alex."_

"_I'm the luckiest man in the world."_  
--  
Derek Shepherd turns off his car and realizes his hands are shaking. He's given his fair share of bad news before; after all, he's a doctor. But this time is different.

Glancing over at Izzie, he nods and then gently reaches back to touch his baby girl, Caroline.

"Wait in the car. I'll go get him." Slowly, Derek gets out of the car and pockets his keys. He walks up to the door, and Alex opens it before he has a chance to knock. In that instant, he knows that his expression already says it all, but he forces himself to speak.

"There's been an accident."  
--  
A/N: Squeeee… that was fun to write. I'll update possibly as soon as tomorrow! By the way, if you haven't seen the Addisex eye rape from the next episode… YOU NEED TO!


	3. Wreck of the Day

Pairings: Alex/Addison, Derek/Meredith  
Disclaimer: If _Grey's Anatomy_ was mine… we would be watching Addisex right now.  
A/N: I love writing. I really do. It's a lot of fun. I'm not one to personally mention all of my reviewers in my author's notes, but I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed – your reviews make me smile so much, and it's exciting to see that you're getting into the story with me! Anyway, enough with my rambling… Read. Love. Review. (And watch _GA_ – it's what Jesus would freaking do)

Chapter 2 – Wreck of the Day

People who aren't around hospitals a lot seem to notice that there's a certain hospital smell. It's an indistinct and yet unforgettable smell. However, doctors and nurses don't seem to be bothered by it. Either they become immune or they ignore it.

But the smell they don't become immune to is the smell of death.  
--  
Overcome with exhaustion, Miranda Bailey leans back against the wall of the elevator and closes her eyes. She never wanted to get involved. Seattle Grace had been a wonderful place for her medical career, and she appreciated everything that it had given her, but she never wanted to get involved with the people.

Something happened along the way. Interns, attendings, and relationships got in the way. As the elevator dings and the doors slide open, the posse jumps up. Leading the pack is Alex, holding a sleeping Allie in his arms.

"_Karev! Why are you still here?" Alex jumps as Bailey approaches him in the lobby. He shrugs. He and Addison have been keeping their relationship under tight wraps, so he's at a loss for words. He can't say that he's waiting for Izzie; Bailey knows that today was her day off. _

"_Alex! Let's…" Addison trails off as she walks up and realizes that Bailey is standing before Alex with a peeved look on her face._

"_What is it with you people? There are other people out there! Outside of this hospital and outside of Joe's! You," Bailey said, pointing at Alex, "don't know what you're getting into. And you," she grumbled, looking at Addison, "have already complicated things enough, what with Grey and Sloan and Shepherd."_

"_It's not what it looks like. I mean, it is. But… we're not… I mean… it's not… I don't… it's not like I…" Bailey glares at Addison._

"_It's not like you what? Like you planned this? Like you haven't fallen in love with him? I have a husband and a child at home! I do not need to hear your pitiful excuses. If you all will excuse me, I'm going home."_

But the truth is, Seattle Grace is a sort of home. It has more drama than a hospital soap opera, but it's still a home. Her former interns have grown up in this hospital. She wasn't sure they would ever get there, but they have, even Izzie.

"_Don't blame yourself, Izzie. You did everything you could. Sometimes that's just not enough." _

"_How can I not blame myself? I was holding the scalpel. Me."_

"_It wasn't your fault. Not every patient's body can handle the stress of surgery. You know that." Izzie wipes stray tears from her eyes and shakes her head._

"_Dr. Bailey? What am I missing? What do Meredith and Alex and them, what do they have that I don't? What didn't I learn?"_

"_Isobel Stevens, I've taught you everything you need to know. You are an excellent doctor. Now all you have to learn is how to believe in yourself." _

Bailey's eyes grow weary as she stares at the doctors before her. They're not doctors though, not right now anyway. She glances at Alex and Allie, Izzie, and then Derek, Meredith and Caroline. They've all come so far.

That's the problem with accidents. They're unexpected. In milliseconds, they change the lives of so many people. The limbo that results hurts even more than the accident itself. And the accidents change everything, every step of progress.

"_Hi, Dr. Bailey. Mocha latte?" Bailey stares at her former intern and grabs the coffee from her outstretched hand._

"_Why are you sucking up? You're not my intern anymore! Isn't there some neurosurgery that you should be performing right now?" Meredith shrugs, and Bailey sighs. "What is it?"_

"_I need… I was wondering if you could do a test for me. I can't ask Izzie or one of the guys. I'd ask Cristina, but… then she'll lecture. I can't ask Addison because she's… she's my friend, but it would be too weird – not when I don't know."_

"_You want me to do a pregnancy test for you? I have better things to do with my time! They're called home pregnancy tests, Grey!" Meredith starts to walk away, but Bailey stops her. "No! You've already interrupted my day. Let's go."  
--_  
"_It seems that you and Dr. Shepherd are expecting a baby. Now I have work to do, and so do you."_

"_Dr. Bailey? Thank you." Bailey's frown softens into a smile… or the closest thing to it._

"_Congratulations."_

That was the plan – to not get involved with the people. Almost five years later, Miranda Bailey knows that her plan didn't work.

They make her job harder, and they seem to get themselves into the most complicated situations with their love lives. They attract the most bizarre cases, and they get into odd predicaments themselves.

But they're her family. They're falling apart before her eyes, and she doesn't know what to do, but they're her family.  
--  
A seemingly blinding light crosses Chris Hanson's eyes, and he squints in pain.

"Where am I? Oh God… there… there was an accident. What happened?" Chris stares down at the cast that encases his left side from hip to toe and then looks up at a nurse.

"Let me get the doctor." Chris winces as he tries to sit up more, and he reaches out toward the nurse.

"Wait, no. I'm a doctor at Mercy West. Please, just tell me. What happened?" The nurse seems to pause in indecision, and then he sees her concede in her eyes. "Please."

"You were in a pretty bad accident. Your left lung collapsed, and your leg was broken in three places, but you'll be all right."

"There was another car. What about the other car?" The nurse starts to open her mouth, but then she pauses and shakes her head.

"You need to rest. I'll let the doctor come talk to you."  
--  
Alex shifts Allie in his arms and momentarily buries his face in the little girl's hair. His daughter and his wife are his world. He never thought he would be a family man, but Addison Montgomery changed everything.

Derek squeezes his wife's hand and places a gentle kiss on Caroline's forehead. He loves Meredith and Caroline more than anything, but it was Addison Montgomery that taught him how to love.

Izzie looks at the ground and fingers the ring that her fiancé gave her on Christmas day. He was the second person whom she felt truly believed in her abilities. Addison Montgomery was the first.

Alex closes his eyes for a moment and rubs Allie's back.

"I love you, baby," he whispers. "I love you." He looks up at Bailey and nods for her to tell them about Addison.

"When Addison got here, Dr. Burke and I reviewed her labs and we took her into surgery immediately. We stopped the internal bleeding, and we decided to monitor the spleen carefully. We didn't want to remove it because of her pregnancy." Bailey pauses and starts to continue, but she's interrupted by the beep of her pager.

_911 Addison Montgomery_  
--  
A/N: Okay… I have a lot to say so I'm going to do a numbered list. 01 – Barbaro – May he rest in peace. I cried for about half an hour at school when I found out. And that is why I'm going into neurosurgery, not veterinary medicine. 02 – I love this chapter. I don't mean to sound conceited or anything, but I love that Bailey cares for all of them so much. The end of it… it shows how much Addison has impacted all of them. I know that not all of this is making sense (like… the first paragraphs? Or Chris Hanson?) All will be revealed in due time. 03 – The next update should be a long one. I owe you guys. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Love, Kellie.


	4. Trust Me

Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: Alex/Addison, Derek/Meredith  
Disclaimer: If _Grey's Anatomy_… well… Meredith and Derek would have way more time on-air together if I owned _Grey's_.  
A/N: Here we go. I promised a long update… and here you are. A lot of things should be answered in this chapter, and I'll try not to do an angsty cliffhanger. Read. Love. Review. (And watch _GA_ – get excited for Thursday!)

Chapter 3 – Trust Me

Part I – Lines  
_Lines have a definite purpose. They divide people, countries, and anything else that requires some sort of division. Lines are not meant to be crossed; that's why they're infinite. _

None of them want to cross the line. They want to be by Addison's side, but they don't want to cross the line, not as visitors.

Surprisingly, it's Izzie who takes the first step off the elevator. Derek follows immediately, but Meredith hangs back as Alex stares at the floor, motionless.

"Alex… come on." She glances up at Derek and nods. "We'll be a minute."

"_Hello?" _

"_Meredith? I need you to come over, right now." Meredith frowns in confusion as she tosses popcorn up and tries to catch it._

"_Are you okay?"_

"_I'm fine. Just… I need you to come over." The line goes dead, and Meredith looks over at George and Izzie. _

"_I have to go. I'll be back later." Abruptly, she stands up and hurries out the door, without waiting for them to respond or ask questions.  
--  
When Meredith arrives at Alex's modest but surprisingly elegant two-story house, he's pacing on the porch. The spring rain has brightened the grass into an ungodly, catalogue color, but it's still too cold for any sane person to be outside in a t-shirt and sweatpants. _

"_Alex, what's going on? I was watching a movie with Izzie and George." Alex stops pacing and looks up. He opens the door and stomps inside, barely holding the door open long enough for Meredith to grab it._

_His Bernese Mountain Dog, Bella, whines when she sees Meredith, and Meredith almost bursts out laughing when she sees the confusion on the dog's face. She kneels down and begins playing with Bella's silky ears._

"_What if she says no?" Alex stares at Meredith, a look of panic filling his face. He doesn't like to admit that he has moments where he freezes and freaks out, but when he does, he calls Meredith. For some reason, they've never judged each other or had a big fight… except for the occasional fight over a patient. _

"_What?" Meredith giggles as Bella gives her a sloppy kiss on the cheek, and she pushes the dog back to look up at Alex. _

"_Addison!" Alex winces as he realizes how loud that was. _

"_No, I'm Meredith. No wonder you live alone. If I were that loud in…" _

"_Grey! I'm going to ask her to marry me. What if she says no?" _

"_Oh." Meredith can't help but giggle at her first response, and Alex glares. "I'm sorry… it's not funny. It just…"_

"_I don't know how, but you're my best friend. You're not like a sister; I mean, you're hot, and I'm hot. We would have hot kids. But that's not the point. You've never judged me for the stuff I've done, and you know when I need to talk about stuff that I can't talk about with my girlfriend or Stevens or Bambi._

"_I need your help. I help you out when you need it. That's what we do. We have each other's backs. And I need your help," Alex says. Meredith looks at him with wide eyes for a moment. It's true; they do have each other's backs, but they've never discussed it. They talk about their problems, and they flirt in a way that's entirely sexual yet so platonic that their significant others joke that they would have made a good couple. But they've never talked about it. _

"_She won't say no. I promise… best friend," Meredith teases. Alex rolls his eyes, knowing that she's never going to let him forget the speech he just made. _

"_How do you know?"_

"_I don't know. I have faith." Alex smirks and tugs on Meredith's hair._

"_Since when do we have faith?"_

"_Since my boyfriend's ex-wife turned our lives upside down," Meredith shoots back, pulling Alex into a hug. _

"Alex, it's going to be okay. You have to believe that," Meredith whispers. Her voice cracks slightly, and her eyes are bloodshot from crying, but she still manages to have some conviction. "It's going to be okay."

"How do you know?" Alex bangs his head back against the elevator, glad that George had come out just as Bailey was paged and had taken Allie and Caroline. He hasn't cried yet – he's Alex Karev. He doesn't cry, but the confines of the elevator suddenly feel like they're shrinking, and then he can't stop himself from crying.

Meredith pulls him into a hug, and he begins to shudder silently. His wife is in the intensive care unit, with machines helping her breathe, monitoring their unborn children, filling her with extra blood and antibiotics.

"I have faith," she says quietly. It's become their "thing."

"Since when do we have faith?" Alex's voice breaks up, but he manages to smirk at Meredith.

"Since my husband's ex-wife turned our lives upside down." Holding out her hand, Meredith guides Alex off the elevator and onto the ICU floor.

_The problem is… once those lines are crossed, there's no going back._  
--  
Part II – Circles  
_Circles cannot be broken. No one draws jagged lines through circles. And unlike hearts, circles can be spun on axes. Life deals with lots of circles – circles of friends, circles of love, and circles of life._

Derek watches as Alex walks into Addison's room. The younger man's jaw is clenched, but he's holding his head up.

"Derek…" Meredith sits down in the chair beside him and rests her head on his shoulder. He reaches over and takes her hand in his, gently touching her wedding band.

_The tension in the elevator is palpable, but Meredith refuses to look at Derek. She hasn't talked to him for two days, and he can't remember the last time he slept. Suddenly, she reaches out and yanks the stop on the elevator and glares at him._

"_Meredith…"_

"_What were you thinking? You faced off with a man who had a gun."_

"_Meredith, let me…"_

"_No! You say my name, and I yell. So shut up," Meredith hisses. She slaps Derek hard enough that he winces. "He had a gun that was pointed at me. And you stepped in front of him. You stepped in front of him. You could have died!_

"_Maybe everybody else thought that it was heroic and McDreamy and amazing, but he could have shot you. Do you know what I would have felt like if you died because you were protecting me?" Meredith screams, tears running down her face. "I'm pregnant, Derek. And you could have died." _

_Derek shifts and pulls her into a crushing hug. She fights it, but he refuses to budge. He's going to be a dad._

"_I love you, Meredith."_

"_And I hate you right now," she yells. He loosens his hold around her, but she slams him back against the elevator wall and bites his lower lip. He groans in pain and tangles his hands in her hair, kissing her with a certain urgency. _

_Meredith's hands tear angrily at the drawstring on his pants as Derek teases her with hot kisses along her neck. He stops for a moment and mutters to himself._

"_What?" Meredith growls as she yanks her scrub top off._

"_I don't have a condom." She glares and punches him in the stomach. "That hurt!"_

"_You know what's going to hurt more? When you're not alive when your child is born! Besides, that never stopped you before," she snaps. Derek kisses her again, before she can hit him anywhere else, and then he says it._

"_Marry me."_

"I love you," Derek murmurs. "You know why I picked that moment to ask you to marry me?"

"Why?"

"Because of the circle of life." Meredith groans.

"You've been watching _Lion King_ with Caroline too much."

_It's not the circle of love that causes the most pain. Its pain is intermittent and in part, brought on by the people that it affects. The circle of life, however, is the real root of the most pain._  
--  
Part III – Angles  
_Mathematical angles are helpful in the game of billiards, but you have to know how to use them. Angles of view reveal things that cannot be said – you just have to know where to look._

"She's going to be okay, Karev." Alex turns and glances at Bailey, who has entered Addison's room with a chart in hand. "Her lung collapsed, but she's going to be okay."

Alex nods and looks at his wife's closed eyes.

_Addison frowns in confusion when Alex's dog whines and puts her head down in the corner of the kitchen. She sets down her crossword puzzle on the kitchen table covered with the Sunday morning paper and snaps her fingers._

"_Come here, baby."_

"_Hang on, I'm almost done," Alex says. Addison laughs._

"_I was talking to Bella."_

"_Oh, I see how it is," Alex teases. Addison doesn't even bother to respond and snaps her fingers again._

"_Bella, what are you doing? Alex, why does Bella have her head in the corner?" He glances up from the eggs that he's frying and takes a drink of milk. _

"_I don't know. Why don't you see if there's something back there?" Addison gets up and walks over to Bella._

"_What's back there? Huh? Come here. I know. You're upset that we got another baby. But you're still my girl." As if on cue, a ball of black fluff comes flying into the kitchen and stumbles over to Bella. The puppy, Grace, yanks on Bella's tail, but Bella only stares up at Addison with mournful eyes. _

"_Get down and look from a different angle, Ads." Addison pushes Grace away from Bella and bends down to get another look at whatever Bella has fixated on. And then she sees it._

"_Oh my God. Seriously?" Alex walks over and smiles nervously. He kneels down by Addison, with Grace and Bella at their sides._

"_Seriously. I want you to marry me, Addison Montgomery."_

"What about the babies?" Alex jerks in shock.

"You're awake," he says, kissing Addison on the forehead. Bailey hurries around to the side of the bed and shines a penlight in Addison's eyes.

"I've been awake since you got in here," Addison croaks. She touches Alex's stubble-covered face gently and squeezes his hand.

"The babies are fine," Bailey says. She flashes a rare smile and then goes back to checking on vitals.

"Everything's going to be okay," Alex echoes. Addison wipes the tears that are rolling down her cheeks and smiles in spite of the obvious discomfort that she's in.

"I love you."

_Sometimes the best angles are revealed by the ones you love._  
--  
A/N: Okay. I wrote that in a couple hours, so I'm still processing everything that happened. Yes, Addison is okay, but that doesn't mean that everything is. There's still a lot of things you haven't seen – you haven't seen George or Cristina or Burke yet. You don't know about Izzie or her fiancé. Um… you also don't know about the Chief. Or Ellis. And neither do I. You did get to see how Alex and Derek proposed… and I know some of you are big fans of Alex/Meredith friendship. I had a lot of fun writing their flashback scene. The problems are definitely not over, even though Addison should be out of the woods… but she is in the ICU. That could change. Review!


	5. Whatever Gets You Through Today

Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: Alex/Addison, Derek/Meredith  
Disclaimer: I'm too busy owning… my dogs and music videos and writing to own _Grey's Anatomy_.  
A/N: Yeah. It's an update. I'm having fun writing this, and I hope you're enjoying reading it. The reviews seem to indicate that you are, so that makes me happy! Anyway, let's get down to business… Read. Love. Review. (And watch _GA_ – it's what Jesus would freaking do)

Chapter 4 – Whatever Gets You Through Today

"Aidan and Arianna. Aidan means little fire, and Arianna means most pure," Alex says, running a finger over Addison's hand. Addison makes a face, and Alex resists the urge to burst out laughing.

"What? They're good names, great names even." Alex winks and nods. At this point, he would agree if his wife wanted to name their kids Brownie and Cookie – he's just relieved that she's okay. And a name like Brownie would probably scare off the boys, which puts the name at the top of his list of names.

He smiles to himself as Addison tries to look annoyed. He has a list. He, Alex Karev, has a wife and a kid and a list. It doesn't matter that he lets Allie eat the wrong foods, that he messed up the first time he tried to propose in California and ended up doing it back at home, that Cristina can't resist ribbing on him because he has a kid and he's married to McWife. It doesn't matter because he has Addison and Allie and a list.

"Oh, they're good names. But I like how you decided that one of them would be a boy," Addison teases. "Besides, it's my turn to name. You named Allie."

"_Let's name him something that starts with an 'A' – then we can be Alex, Addison, and Adolph Karev," Alex says, leaning over to get a bite of Addison's ice cream. _

"_Adolph? Honey, please tell me you're kidding. I don't want her to be made fun of at school. I was that kid. It was horrible. When I got my glasses, everyone called me Addison Forbeyes. It went on until my mom remarried when I was eleven, and I added Montgomery to my name. And get your own ice cream. I'm feeding your daughter here."_

"_Daughter? No way. My boys know where to swim," Alex scoffs. Addison raises her eyebrows, and Alex can't help but crack a soft smile. He'd never really understood people talking about pregnant women glowing until Addison became pregnant. Sure, the ill-termed **morning** sickness, the mood swings, and the craves were a little bit stressful at times, but the past seven months had strengthened their marriage even more and had shown him a whole other side of Addison. _

"_Even eighth grade kids know that it's the chromosomes, Alex. Not the swimmers. Don't worry. I'll remind you of what you just said when I break your hand in a month," Addison says, keeping a straight face until Alex takes the opportunity to lick her ice cream cone again. "Alex!"_

"_Allison."_

"_No, I'm Addison. We've been over this before. Although sometimes I find it extremely hot when you call me Satan just to make me angry, so you can get in my pants for some good make-up sex," Addison whispers. Alex stiffens, and she knows that her words had the desired effect. But then Alex's eyes travel down to her very pregnant belly, and he looks crestfallen. She tries desperately to stifle her laughter when she sees the disappointed look on Alex's face. In spite of her obvious expertise in obstetrics, Alex has refused to have sex as of late in fear of somehow harming their baby. She thinks it's cute. At least, it would be cute if the surge of hormones hadn't heightened her sex drive._

"_Ads, I want to name her Allison," Alex says through gritted teeth. He reaches out and tugs on her hair, which she has allowed to return to its natural ash brown color in recent months._

"_Why?"_

"_Meredith has been there for both of us throughout everything, and I think we should give her some kind of credit." Alex laughs and continues, "Besides, none our friends have a middle name that starts with an 'A' except for her. She told me, and it just sounded…"_

"_It's a beautiful name. Allison Karev," Addison murmurs, testing the name out. "We can't wait to see you, Allie."_

"Nah, that was a joint decision. You can name the next one," Alex says, smirk plastered across his face. Addison's eyes widen as he expected, and he nods.

"Alex Karev, there will not be a next one! You and your stupid… stupid…"

"Boy penis. Stupid boy penis," Meredith chimes in. Addison laughs as Alex makes a face. She motions for Meredith to come in, and Meredith pulls up a chair beside the bed. "I'm not kidding. Boys are stupid. Do you know what Derek did? Would you like to guess?"

"Uh… this sounds like chick talk, so I'm going to go check on Allie," Alex says, looking more uncomfortable by the second. Addison waves him off and starts to ask Meredith a question, but Alex stops on his way out the door and comes back to kiss Addison on the forehead.

"I love you, Addison Karev." Addison grins and then laughs when she sees Meredith's expression. "And Grey? Better his boy penis kids than Bambi's." Meredith freezes and shoots him a look of horror. "Don't worry – your secret's safe."

Addison glances at Meredith and tries to contain her laughter. Their history is inextricable and almost unexplainable, but they've come to be good friends. Thus she has, over the years, become privy to the information that Meredith fears that she'll mess up Caroline and shouldn't be allowed to have more children. What Meredith doesn't know is that Addison can see that Meredith and Derek are the two most dedicated parents she knows. Around Caroline, everything else seems to melt away.

Meredith bites her lip nervously and plays with her hair, trying to avoid eye contact with Addison. When she was pregnant with Caroline, she and Derek had decided to keep it under tight wraps for a few months. Their whirlwind engagement followed by Allison's birth and their simple wedding had kept everyone focused on other things, but this time, save for her best friend lying in the bed that she was sitting on, the truth would be harder to hide.

"Out with it. I already know, so it can't be that bad, unless you're having triplets." A look of sheer terror and panic crosses Meredith's face, but Addison's smirk and subsequent laughter makes Meredith tense and tighten her already-clenched fists.

"I can't do this. I wasn't made for this. I'm already afraid I'm a bad mother for Caroline. I don't know how to do this. You do. You and Alex are good at this. But… Derek and I are good at sex. I never had parents, not really. He has his family, but they're still not a replacement for growing up with parents. We're good, I'm good at sex. I'm not good at this. I don't know how to do this. And thanks to Derek and his stupid boy penis, I have to do it anyway. Don't get me wrong. I love Caroline. She's my baby girl. I can't not love her. I'm just afraid that I don't know how."

"Meredith. Do you want my advice?"

"No, I'm just here to ramble so that you can stare at me and then go back to naming your kids."

"Talk to your husband," Addison says. She raises her arms in defense immediately and laughs when Meredith tries to respond.

"You, I can't… he's… Derek," she sputters. "You know Derek! You were married to Derek! He'll just tell me that I'm doing fine, that I'm great at this, that…"

"Meredith, did you ever think that even if he is Derek, he may still be right?" Meredith tries not to smile, but she can't help it, not when she's sitting here laughing with one of her best friends about their kids and their adult lives. Somehow, they've made it this far.

She stands and rolls her eyes as Addison waves three fingers around in the air and mouths triplets.

"I'm going now. And Addison?"

"Hm?"

"I'm glad you didn't die, but don't ever do that again," Meredith says. Addison shrugs playfully and nods.

"I try to mix things up."  
--  
Izzie runs toward Trauma One when the elevator stops, but she freezes as soon as she enters the room.

"Oh my God, Chris."  
--  
A/N: Okay. Uh… I felt like I need to throw some fluff in. And I reread this and found several discrepancies so I used the fluff time to try to reconcile those with each other. Not sure how that went. Anyway, although the majority was fillerish… it did provide some more insight into Meredith and where her plotline might be headed. Addison is good right now, which is a relief. Poor girl needs a break. And then we have Izzie. Dear Izzie. Our little rock star. I won't leave you hanging too long – I don't have school on Monday or Tuesday. Review! And please send me an email about Drowning on Dry Land if you feel so inclined – AMAZINGNESS. I LOVE DEREK. HE FLAJFDLSD YEAH.


	6. Bless the Broken Road

Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: Alex/Addison, Derek/Meredith  
Disclaimer: Chris and Allie and Caroline and Baby A, B, and C are mine. Everyone else? Not mine.  
A/N: I'm having so much fun writing this. I'll let you all in on a little secret at the end, but… read on. Thanks for reviewing! Read. Love. Review. (And watch _GA_ – it's what Jesus would freaking do)

Chapter 5 – Bless the Broken Road

_Life is messy. We, as doctors, see that played out in other people's lives every single day. People shoot themselves with bazookas, trees end up in the wrong place, towels are left where they shouldn't be… Like I said, life is messy._

_And yet, when our own lives become messy, we reel in shock and confusion when we should be used to it all._

"Seriously? Seriously? You were in a freaking wreck, and all you can say is that you're okay. Seriously?" Izzie glares at her fiancé and considers throwing her stethoscope at him. On second thought, the combination of high-dose pain killers and his broken leg would probably lead to him dropping it on the floor, and she's not sure that she can bend over right now without wanting to puke.

"I didn't want you to worry. I just thought…"

"Thought what? That I wouldn't notice when you came over for breakfast in the morning with a broken leg?" Tears begin to roll down Izzie's cheeks as she focuses her eyes on the hinged splint and lower air cast. Luck has never been on her side, not that she believes in it anyway. The last time she had a fiancé in the hospital, he died. And now Chris is lying before her, trying to downplay the fact that he has a broken leg.

"Iz…" Chris says quietly. He reaches his hand out toward her, but she shakes her head. A nurse enters the room and picks up his chart, but Izzie stops her.

"I'd like to see his chart, please." Wordlessly, the nurse hands her the chart and then backs off. Izzie flips the chart open and bites her lip in tears as she looks over it. "Femoral diaphysis fracture. And a closed tibial shaft fracture that they're not putting in a plaster cast because of impending surgery. Jesus, what the hell happened?" Without waiting for an answer, Izzie looks at the young nurse who still seems to be expecting some sort of order.

"Can you page his doctor? I'd like another PT and PTT… and page Meredith Shepherd. Tell her that I want her to look at Chris's CT." The nurse nods and leaves the room without saying anything. Izzie stares at the chart again and slams it down on the bed.

"Let the other doctors worry about the tests, Iz."

"No! This how I cope. I can't bake right now, so this is how I'm coping. Now tell me what the hell happened before I give you another fracture," Izzie snaps.

"There was an accident. It all happened so fast. I think… I hit a slick spot or something, and I spun out and hit another car. They won't, the nurse wouldn't tell me who I hit. I'm scheduled for surgery tomorrow morning – intramedullary nailing, I think." Before Izzie can launch into rant about how they shouldn't be talking about this like any old patient, Meredith enters the room, looking confused.

"What's going on? I thought you were paging me about Addison."

"Addison? Why's Addison here?" Chris asks. Before anyone can answer, he freezes and closes his eyes. "Was it… was Addison the one in the other car?" Meredith glances at Izzie. Lying has never been her strong suit, and she's not about to test her skills here. "Izzie. I need to know if Addison was the other driver. Please, baby."

Izzie takes a deep breath and looks back down at the chart before handing it off to Meredith. She knows how to talk to patients. What Cristina and Alex lack in bedside manner, she more than makes up for. But no one ever told her how to talk to the man who almost killed Addison Montgomery, the man who also happens to be her fiancé. Suddenly, she bursts out laughing.

"I'm sorry, I just, I laugh at inappropriate times. Did you ever see _Sweet Home Alabama_? Remember the part where that hot guy goes, 'She's my fiancée for Christ's sake!'"

"Izzie," Meredith says, still avoiding Chris's stare. "I think you guys should talk alone. I'll look at his CT before rounds." Slowly, Meredith backs out of the room, leaving Izzie to fend for herself.

"I need to go check on some stuff. I'll be back before your surgery," Izzie murmurs. She refuses to meet Chris's eyes. "We can talk about this later. I need…" Before she can even finish her sentence, her pager beeps, and she finally looks up. "I have to go."

Chris watches Izzie run out of the room toward the elevator and silently curses himself for ever leaving the house. He gets it, why she's upset. She told him about Denny on their third date, but it doesn't make this any easier. He always knew that medicine would be a hard life, but no one ever told him it would be this hard. And in some twisted way, he wishes that he could be ignorant again.  
--  
Izzie and Meredith run into Addison's room at the same time and are both rendered speechless at the scene before them.

"Stevens, Grey, you seem to have done well for yourselves."

"Chief, what, what are you doing here?" Meredith stutters, reaching for the chart from a cocky intern who reminds her of Alex.

"Shep called me about Addison, and I thought I'd come in for myself." Izzie leans over Meredith's shoulder and frowns when she sees Addison's temperature. "How long has she been feverish?"

Meredith starts to mumble something about not actually being allowed to see Addison's chart when Bailey enters the room looking angry.

"What are you fools doing? I told you that – Chief, sir, so good to see you," Bailey says, while glaring at Meredith and Izzie. They both shrug, and even the intern has the sense to step back when Bailey glances at him.

"Now, someone tell me about this post-op fever," Dr. Webber says, assuming an authoritative tone, even though he retired a few years back. He glances at the intern and nods. "You, go."

"Uh, the common causes of post-op fever are…"

"Wind, water, walking, wound, wonder drugs. The five W's," Alex cuts in. Meredith smiles as Alex crosses into the room and pulls up his chair beside Addison. "Since she's post-op day one, it's probably wind. I'd diagnose with a chest x-ray. A CBC wouldn't be a good indicator since her white blood cell count will be up because of the trauma and surgery."

"You've turned out to be a good doctor, Karev," Dr. Webber says.

"I learned from the best," Alex whispers, squeezing Addison's hand. Dr. Webber nods and then says something about returning later. Alex nods and watches as Izzie, Bailey, and the intern file out after Dr. Webber.

Meredith starts to leave, but when she looks at Alex, she stops. Tears uncharacteristically start to fill his eyes again. Meredith reaches out and takes Alex's other hand. As much as she wants to run the other direction, this is her family.

"Everything's going to be okay," she says. "She's going to be okay. You have to believe that."

_No one ever told us that it doesn't get easier as we progress, probably so we wouldn't all quit. When we're in that mess ourselves, it feels like there's no way out. And then there's nothing to do but hold hands and float or sink together._  
--  
A/N: I hated this chapter. It's… messy, and it didn't come out the way I wanted. But.. it is what it is, and it did give me some more stuff to work with in the next chapter. Izzie wants to be there for Chris, but she doesn't know how, and she's caught in this… mess. Alex has come so far, but none of that matters if his wife doesn't live. I'll be honest – I have insecurities about meeting others' expectations for my writing, so please let me know what you like and don't like. Anyway, review!


End file.
